Well tonight was the second half of the first round on Dancing With The Stars and I have to say, I was pretty disappointed overall. Thankfully, there were few bright moments - although some bright moments I could have done without (Um, Oompa Loompa Steve Wozniak ... did you discover self-tanner today or did they just put too much make-up on you?). Here are some of my highlights and lowlights ... ok, mostly lowlights I guess :

Shawn Johnson ... Just like last week, Shawn amazed the judges and the rest of us with a very mature performance. I know she was nervous about doing the salsa - the moves are forbidden in gymnastics - but I think she rocked it. My only critique is that she needs to get a lot more dirrrrty in the Latin dances if she wants the really big scores. Two week total : 47/60.

Melissa Rycroft ... Melissa had the advantage of having been dancing most of her life. She also had the disadvantage of dancing most of her life. I know some people think she is a ringer but she actually has to un-learn a lot of her dancing habits in order to do well. I was blown away by her salsa performance. Clearly Bruno did too - I thought he was going to cream himself. I think if she can keep up these performances and get the votes, she may be the one to beat. Two week total : 49/60.

Ty Murray ... Last week, he was one of the worst dancers on the show. He proved hard work can help you really improve. He dug deep and was one of the better dancers tonight. One problem : they put tails on his jacket and we couldn't see the fine ass in his tight pants. Heck, that was the only redeeming fact in his week 1 dance! Two week total : 34/60.

Gilles Marini ... I thought his performance last week was amazing. I was very surprised at how well he was able to learn to cut out the sexiness in his dance this week. We may not like his fame-whore partner Cheryl, but you have to give her credit - she put together one hell of a routine from top to bottom. I think he was scored a little too high this week, but it is still nice to see two contestants (he and Melissa) get 9's from the judges so early. Two week total : 51/60.

'Lil Kim ... yawn. That's all I can say about her quickstep. She and her partner will need to be more creative - she needs to win this so she can work on paying off her $1 million tax lien. Two week total : 44/60.

The Lows

Lawrence Taylor ... Honestly, I don't really care if he wins or loses. He improved from last week, but he hasn't really had an inspiring routine yet. Two week total : 36/60

Steve-O ... I really only have him in this category because we didn't get to see him perform his routine full-out. I feel bad for him that they judged his dress rehearsal - which was done only half energy. I agree with the judges that there was little to no salsa in the routine, but we don't know what the full product would have really looked like. I hope he is ok to continue and that the viewers keep him around to show us what he really can do. Two week total : 31/60.

Holly Madison ... I have news for you Holly - every day is not a Holly-day. At least not on this show. She wasn't terrible tonight and she didn't make want to vomit, so I guess that's a success on her part. Next time out, she needs to be in better control of her feet so she isn't so out of control. Two week total : 36/60.

Chuck Wicks ... I thought the judges comments and score didn't match. They complained, as I did, that it was mostly Julianne dancing and not a whole lot from Chuck - yet they gave them a 20. Chuck better be glad that the viewers love Julianne and will vote for her. Two week total : 40/60.

Denise Richards ... God help us. The bitch improved this week. I really don't want her on the show anymore. She still looked like a weeble-wobble in the middle of her dance - unfortunately, like the toy, she didn't fall down. Two week total : 39/60.

Belinda Carlisle ... (sorry Jim!) I think they should have changed the music for her routine - to the Lumberjack Song. She danced like a lumberjack with a dress on for much of the routine. The go-go did a no-no - she said, "I messed up" while waiting for the judges to speak. Unfortunately for her, they noticed she messed up too. I would not surpise me if she fell into the bottom two. Two week total : 35/60.

David Allen Grier ... he shouldn't quit his day job - whatever that is. He did a lot of standing around while his partner danced. That won't get you far on this show David. Two week total : 36/60.

Steve "The Woz" Wozniak ... Where do we start critiquing the dancing Oompa Loompa? Well, for starters - what is up with that damn pink feather boa? Last week he was wearing it and this week he was taking it off Karina. Is it just to help fill up the time? The one thing I can praise him on is that he did improve this week. He was moving around the floor better and his footwork was actually quite good at times. I have to agree with Bruno - he does remind me of Wall-E; made from spare parts and very charming. As bad a dancer as he is, he is very entertaining and you can see the joy coming through his performance. He ain't boring (like Grier, Kim & LT), that's for sure. Two week total : 31/60.

My Bottom 3

Steve Wozniak - I think it is inevitable Steve.
Belinda Carlisle - She is definitely the worse female.
Steve-o - It's possible the voting with save him.

Two of these three will be in the Bottom I think. I would like to see Steve-o continue onto next week. Out of the other two, I think Woz would go home.