Survivor Finale : If Looks Could Kill ...

... JT and Stephen would be dead.

Well, we have to back up a couple days. The final episode started off with the final four players arriving back at camp after slaying Captain Douchebag. [Note: I was giddy as hell about that.]

At the first immunity challenge, the players had to race through a tarantula shaped maze where they had to climb through tunnels make of rope. At the end of the tunnels, they had to grab a bag of puzzle pieces. Then, they had to race back and solve the puzzle once they had all three bags. Naturally, JT was the first to retrieve all his puzzle pieces but was followed fairly closely by Stephen and then Taj ... with Erinn bringing up the rear.

Despite having a huge lead, JT just barely managed to edge out Erinn for the win.

At the first Tribal of the night, most of the discussion centered around the subject of keeping Taj versus keeping Erinn in the game. Based on that discussion - and the comments made earlier - I knew that the boys would take the coward way out and blindside their third alliance member, Taj.

Assholes. [More on this later]

The big drawback to taking out Taj? Now they had to listen to Erinn's never-ending verbal diarrhea.

Like every season before, the final three had to take the 'walk of the fallen' and reflect on the losers they enjoyed getting rid of. As they reach each torch, a voice clip from each person reflecting on their experience was played. From this we learned that Tyson didn't learn a thing and is still a complete jackass and that the three of them are completely gullible because they still thought that Coach had been honest the entire game.

How ironic was it that Sierra, thought of as a half-wit, was the person to call Coach out on his dishonesty?

At the next immunity challenge, the players had to place a ball into a metal chute and it would spiral around to come out one of two chutes back at the bottom. After a few minutes, they would have to add another ball. To make it more difficult, the balls would alternate coming out the left and right chutes, making the players have to remember which chute was next. And even worse, the players would have one hand tied behind their backs.

Do I really need to say who won? Ok ... surprise, surprise ... JT won again.

After much effort to add drama to the show, JT voted Erinn out of the game. Did anyone really think that JT would vote out Stephen? If you did, you're an idiot. The best part about Tribal? The look Taj gave the boys - and that hand gesture - was priceless.

That brings us to the final Tribal Council. There were a few highlights ... Coach continued his warrior-samurai BS ... Sierra called JT out for talking about 'bringing the strongest player to the finals' when he in fact brought the weakest with him since he voted out Taj ... and Stephen followed up his statement about 'not having said anything negative about JT' with his attempt to throw JT under the bus to make himself look like the good guy.

Did he really think that anyone would buy it? It's not like JT denied having done the deeds he had done ... only Stephen did. Of course, that led to the marital squabble between JT and Stephen. Anyone else think they fought like a divorcing couple?

In the end ... JT won unanimously. It was only the 2nd time in 18 seasons of Survivor that someone slammed the runner-up like that.

As for the rest of the reunion hour, there wasn't much to really recap. JT won the fan vote .. no surprise there - except that Sierra was in the top 3 with JT and Taj. Tyson had grown a 1970's porn star moustache (or was that dirt on his lip?).

Then there was Coach.

Jeff had asked him to take a lie detector test. Coach didn't want to do that because he thought Jeff or the producers would mess with the results. So he had it done in Hollywood. It said he was telling the truth. Here's the thing - if the person taking the test really believes the lie to be the truth ... it would be a false positive. Either that ... or he paid someone to fake the results. Oh ... and it was odd that he had members of his 'coaching staff' there with him ... considering he was fired from his job.

Well folks .. the season come to an end. See y'all in the fall when Survivor travels to Samoa.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 18, 2009 and is filed under . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .