Survivor Week 13 : Worst Acting In Survivor History

While this hasn't been a great week for my favorite reality competitors (Annie, Margie, Luke & Allison of ANTM), it finished nicely with Danny going home (finally) on Idol and tonight's episode of Survivor being my favorite of the season.

This week started with the survivors coming back from booting Debbie at that night's tribal council and right away, they started telling Coach about how they saved him. They told him all about Debbie's plan to turn on him and explained to him that they didn't think he would believe them if they told him before tribal. In fact, Coach hadn't realized that Debbie was the lone vote against him - he figured it was Erinn!

So Coach still thinks that he is in the strongest alliance. We know better.

Of course, Coach is still spewing his "warrior alliance" garbage all over the place. I still think he hasn't yet realized that the only person in that alliance is a douchebag named Ben Wade. Oh, Ben Wade is 'Coach'. Click his name for an earlier post I did about Captain Douchebag.

One of the funniest moments of the season took place right before the reward challenge. Coach and JT are talking at camp and Coach, as usual, is trying to pull more reassurance out of JT that he is not going anywhere. They start talking about who will be going to Exile and although Coach is 'ok' with going, maybe it would be a good idea for Taj or Erinn to go back Exile.

Then he starts whining about his asthma and his back hurting. Funny, this is the first we've heard about that. Basically he is just putting that information out there in hopes that if JT wins the reward, he won't send Coach to Exile. So far, Coach is the only one other than JT who hadn't gone to Exile so obviously they would send him. Plus, having him be weaker for the Immunity challenge is a nice bonus.

For the reward challenge, the players had to navigate their way through a maze (in the shape of SURVIVOR) while having shackles attached to their ankles. Once they make their way through, they have to build a pole from sticks of wood and string. Then, they use the poles to get a hanging sandbag which they will then use to knock down three targets to raise their flag.

Naturally, JT is headed off first ... with Coach right behind him. In fact, Coach stuck to JT like Tyra Banks on a cupcake. That really didn't matter since it took JT very little time to put together his pole and get his sandbag. He had all three targets knocked down before Coach even had his pole put together. JT won an overnight stay with a feast, shower and a bed to sleep in. Of course, he took Stephan with him.

Before choosing a companion, it was up to JT to choose someone for Exile. He asked for volunteers but seeing none, he ask Coach to do the 'noble thing'. Then led Coach to go off on a monologue about how he was going to not make fire, not eat, not sleep nor drink water. Of course, Erinn called him out about his "martyr" plan. She felt that he was trying to diminish the hard experiences others have had at Exile. Fortunately, her mouth wouldn't get her in terrible trouble ... yet.

Yes, JT and Stephan had some fun in the shower. You can draw your own image about what might have happened, I won't stop you.

Of course, Coach took the opportunity of his own cameraman to ramble on and on and on and on about how he was going to get 'so much' spiritually on his 'fast' in Exile. Probably not the smartest idea for him to not eat, sleep, drink or build a fire. Hey, he is his own worst enemy and if he wants to get himself eliminated faster, all the better. When he arrived at the Immunity challenge, he looked as haggard as a two-dollar-hooker coming off a 12-hour shift.

He was so proud of his ability to not eat or drink ... and celebrated by asking Stephan for water.

In the Immunity challenge, the players had to stand barefoot on wooden pegs in a wood frame without using their back or rear end to lean on the frame. Every 15 minutes, they would step down onto slightly smaller pegs. Once they reached the smallest set of pegs, the challenge would continue until one one person was left standing. Ironically, it came down to JT and Coach. Despite all his talk about back pain, Coach was able to stand on the pegs for about an hour before he dropped, giving JT the win.

Then Coach collapsed. He went on about how his back was spasming during the challenge. I know what back spasms feel like. He would NOT have been able to keep standing on those pegs while having spasms. To top it all off, he refused to let medical take a look at his injury.

Could it be that he was acting the entire time and the medical staff would have figured it out in no time? Taj and Erinn sure thought so.

Tribal Council was pretty short this week. Jeff really only asked questions to two people : Erinn and Coach. He asked Erinn about her calling out Coach. He also asked Coach about that and about his asinine attempt to martyr himself at Exile. Naturally, Coach began pulling quotes out his ass. Oh, and then something happened that only Coach would do.

He stopped Jeff right before he started the voting. To recite a poem that he wrote for everyone. Great shots of the jury falling asleep and most trying not to laugh at Coach's ridiculous actions.

The vote was interesting. 3-2 in favor of keeping Erinn. JT voted for Erinn only because he felt like he promised Coach he wouldn't vote him out. Well, it's really because if it was down to JT and Stephan in the final two, he wants Coach's vote. On his way out, Coach said that Stephan turned on him. If it is JT and Stephan, JT would have little trouble winning.

Will be interesting to see what happens during Sunday's finale. Somehow, I don't think JT & Stephan will both make it ... if Stephan wants a shot at winning anyway.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 15, 2009 and is filed under . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .


Coach is a really intellectually challenged imbecilic braggart spewing garbage like dragonslayer, warrior and other nonsense. I can't stand the sight of him and his tatoos and hippie hair with a pony tail. He is some kind of poofter homo idiot who desrves to be voted off! Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Hey don't insultmy people by calling Coach gay! We would never claim him as a member of our team.