Is It Worth Going?

Back in December, I went to my first Al-Anon meeting. I really didn't care for it, to be honest. I was half the age of the next youngest person and I didn't really get another out of being there. My cousin loves going to it but I'm not sure if it would help me.

Al-Anon is for people affected by a family member's (or some other connection) alcoholism. My mother's old therapist told her she is a new kind of alcoholic - a "social" alcoholic. Yeah, that's bull. I do, however, agree that she is an alcoholic. I never really was affected by her drinking. Hell, for a long time I had no idea she was drinking. Even when she couldn't hide it anymore, it never really affected then either.

My former therapist explained to me that while the alcpholism didn't affect me, the behaviors that led to the alcoholism did. And she was right. I know I haven't spoken much about my family on here, but that's gonna change. For the first time, I can say what my general issue is with my mother.

She is a narcissistic bitch.

When she started therapy (I use the term loosely as the therapist doesn't sound like what a therapist really does), she said that for once, she needed to focus on herself for a change. I have news for her. It was always about her. She would "solve" people problems because she liked to help. No. She "meddled" in people's problems because she needed to make the situation about her. That's just one of her many behaviors.

Ok. So I am wondering if anyone has been involved with Al-Anon and would you recommend it to others? Given my physical health, I don't want to do something unless I am going to get something out of it.

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 09, 2009 and is filed under . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .



I can't really tell you if it's right for you, only my own experiences with Al-Anon.My son is an alcoholic/addict,he's used since he was 15(he's 33 now)..and it has led to very hard drugs.I have gone to Al-Anon off and on for years.But only when I have had to deal directly with him,which has been most of his life,& it helped me.Now that he lives out of town & I don't see him, it doesn't help me to only makes me dwell on him & his addiction.I can detach myself when he isn't around.The people in my group,most of whom are good friends,find that it helps them a lot.So all I can say is that it is an individual thing.Maybe try it again & give it a chance,it might help & age doesn't matter,everyone has something in alcoholic or addict.I hope that makes sense.Next time he is around me I will need meetings myself...they help me to deal with him and myself then.I do still read my daily messages in my Al-Anon books & my co-dependency book.The literature helps me on a day-to-day basis to deal with all walks of my life.I do recommend those.One Day at a Time;The Secret of Letting Go;& my fav..Courage To Change.U can buy them @ meetings or I can get them for u if u want.I hope this helps and doesn't further confuse you.~~HUGS & LUV~~Lisa


Oh yeah, I forgot something. It not only is for families of alcoholics and/or drug is also for anyone who has/had a family member with any other type of addiction or personality disorder which would affect your life...such as "narcissistic bitch" If she has affected your life at all, then these meetings might be helpful. Where the words "alcoholic or addict" is used...substitute whatever the problem is.Such as "narcissist".

Hey there Rook, Been out of town or I would have commented earlier; I went to a couple of meeting many years ago to help me deal with my parents' destructive behaviours. All I got out of it was that there were a lot of people out there who were worse off that I was. I already knew that my parents were behaving irresponsably, I wasn't mirroring their behaviours myself, I could talk to friends about how I felt and most of all, I could set my own boundries with my parents. I quickly opted out of going to any more meetings because I felt that I had all the tools at my disposal to deal with the issues and most of all, to let the issues go, which I did. Al-Anon does a great job of orienting people in crisis, providing an outlet for fear and anger and helps create a sense of community which breaks down isolation. I'm glad they are there to help those who aren't quite able or ready to help themselves, it just wasn't for me.


I also forgot to add that talking to my therapist helps me soooo much. But you already know that...and talking to you and others with similar problems helps a LOT. That's great therapy. My therapist helps me deal with my problems and emotions and reactions to problems in my life also. Maybe that's another reason that I don't feel like I need Al-Anon at this point in my life.
Good luck in your journey with your new therapist.
~~Big Hugs~~

I echo Elfbear...I went when i was younger (father is an alcoholic) but found it wasn't for me. I was more open about the abuse I was experiencing and had friends and family to turn to. Plus, we were able to get out of the situation when i was 16. I woukld say go and try it and see if ti helps you. If it does, it's worth it. if it doen't no harm done.

Leisa from Facebook  

I think we have the same mother, except mine doesn't drink. I've never been to Al-Anon, but CODA (Co-Dependents Anonymous) was a great help to me.