Did you know that 911 is a dating service?

Apparently this woman thought so ...

There are many things I would do for charity.

I don't think body waxing is one of those things.

Apparently there are others willing to do the deed, though.

An "intimate beauty waxing" benefit took place in a London pub to support a local hospital. The gentlemen participating each offered to have their chests waxed. In turn, patrons would bid to pull the strips off the men.

One guy went a bit further than the rest.

As they say on Sex & The City, he went for the "Brazilian".

And paid the price.

Apparently, one of the strips got caught on his testicle and when a buddy gave it a big tug, 6 of the 7 layers of skin came with it.

[pause for the guys to cross their legs]

Nice to know these guys have their priorities straight.

Bet he will think twice next time before volunteering for charity benefits!

I've heard about people using hot sauce on their eggs and in tacos, but this is a new one for me.

Apparently, an inmate in an Ohio state prison was found with a bottle of hot sauce stuck in his rectum.

I will pause here because I know that you are picturing this.

At first, he said he was raped with it. Later, he admitted to pushing the bottle into himself as a sexual device. I know they get lonely in prison but that's a bit ridiculous.

Now the taxpayers of Ohio get to pay for the surgical removal of the hot sauce bottle.

I know there are crazy fetishes out there but if it can get stuck, just don't do it.

I've read about people texting while driving.

I've seen people eat while driving.

Awhile back I even mentioned someone putting on makeup while driving and causing an accident.

This is a new one for me.

Have you ever seen someone SHAVE while driving?

That's right folks. Someone was actually shaving while driving and caused an accident in Key West, Florida.

Oh, did I mention the driver was FEMALE?

No, she was not shaving her legs while driving.

Worse, she was shaving her private area while behind the wheel.

Her ex-husband was in the passenger seat and held the wheel while she primped herself. Apparently, she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and she wanted to be ready for him.

The nation is suffering from financial recession.

We have the highest unemployment rate in decades.

We have possibly the highest levels of crime ever.

Apparently, none of this seems real important to Maryland state legislator Henry Heller.

He has his own mission.

For him, the buck stops with ending marriages between 1st cousins.

That's right folks. Keeping 1st cousins from procreating is the answer to all the evils in the world.

But wait.

It's okay if 1st cousins over 65 want to marry since they won't have kids.

He wants to bring Maryland into "the enlightened world of other states such as West Virginia and Arkansas."

There are so many things wrong with this man's mission. I just don't know where to start.

Leslie Martinez won't be winning any mother-of-the-year awards anytime soon. She thought it was a good idea to drop her 9-year-old daughter off at a Miley Cyrus concert by herself.

What was she doing instead, you might ask?

Martinez headed to a casino to pass the time.

The girl was scared and hungry and sought out a security guard. Arena personnel took the girl to the concession area and returned her to her seat for the remainder of the show. A worker stayed in eye-contact range with the girl throughout the show.

The girl's mother actually told police that she had dropped the girl off 2 years prior at another Miley Cyrus concert and had no problem.

What in the world was this mother thinking?? Who lets a 7-year-old go to a concert alone?!? Don't they realize how many pedophiles could be lurking at a concert that is geared towards children?

The woman was cited for misdemeanor child neglect. Seems to me she deserves something harsher.

Do you remember back in February when I posted about a Korean woman who had taken, and failed, her written driving test a record 771 times?

Well, 772 is apparently her lucky number! She has now passed the written portion of the driver's license exam.

Now she has to take the driving portion of the exam.

If you have relatives in South Korea, warn them. She might have her license soon!

This was the annoying woman in front of me in line at the clinic I go to. For some reason, this phone was virtually attached to her ear the whole time. Apparently, it's okay that entire waiting room had to hear her conversations. Even when the pharmacy tech was trying to speak to her, she took a phone call. Helloooooooooooo. It was 5 minutes until closing and there were FOUR people waiting behind her! Some people are just too rude for words.

Secondly, I took the photo on my cell phone because of her hair. No, not because of the braids. I just don't get why someone would pick a hair color that does not compliment them. I don't know if y'all can see the 50 or so bobby pins sticking out either. Also, you know she paid a lot of money to get this hairdo done and her own hair is showing all the way around. I don't know if it's just from growing out or if she had it badly done. Then again, maybe she didn't pay enough to have it done.

This is a woman who had a creative way to steal beer from a local store down here around Baton Rouge, LA. You'll laugh as much as I did!

This building is 9 1/2 feet wide and 42 feet long and is billed as the narrowest house in New York City.

And they're asking for $2.7 million for the small building.

Um, for that kind of money it should be covered in gold!

The only other claim to fame this building has is that both anthropologist Margaret Mead and poet Edna St. Vincent Mallay once called it home, according to Corcoran real estate broke Alex Nicholas.

So, if you're petite, got money to burn and a fan of poetry, this is just the house for you.

This crazy woman does not like the news crew that showed up at her home looking for her granddaughter. The girl was one of several underage girls caught dancing at a local strip club. Something tells me the woman will be facing charges of her own as well ...

You've finished four years of college, got your degree and now you can't find a job.

Of course, suing the college is the answer!

At least, according to Trina Thompson it is.

She graduated from Bronx's Monroe College back in May and has not been able to find a job since. So, she wants the $70,000 she spent on tuition back because she claims the school hasn't lived up to its end of the bargain by not doing enough to find her a job.

Wait. The school is supposed to find the job for you? All the school does is TRAIN you for a field! Yes, they usually offer services to help you find work after graduation but I don't know of any school that promises to find work for you.

Hell, there are Ivy league graduates out there unable to find employment!

She has only spent 3 months trying to find work and apparently, that's too long.

I am sure there are many jobs out there she isn't willing to take, however. I've seen so many people complaining that they can't find a job. That's just not the case for some. I know a few people myself that have found jobs but weren't willing to take them because it was 'beneath' them or wasn't paying anywhere near what they were making. My partner took a job that was well below the level he is at because we needed the income. I question whether the girl has even considered looking for a job outside of her field of study.

Two questions about this item ...

Is she jumping the gun here after only 2-3 months?

And is the school really to blame here? Say she does win. She'll still have the degree and her money back. So basically, she'd have gotten a free education. Doesn't sound right to me.

Lady, get off your butt and stop blaming the school for economy! And until you find that perfect job, do something else to get some kind of income in the meantime! It's not that difficult of a concept.

The other night in Baton Rouge, 25-year-old Mitchell Deslatte drove up to the Troop A state trooper's station.

Sounds pretty standard, huh?

I didn't mention ... he was DRUNK!

Wait. It gets worse for him.

He was buzzed into the station and he asked the desk officer if he was in a HOTEL!

[pause for laughter]

And yes. He was arrested for DWI.

Apparently he missed the memo about not driving to a police station while drunk off your ass.

Is it just me or are we seeing a lot of stories about idiotic behavior from teachers?

The first one I read about tonight was a North California elementary school teacher named Crystal Defanti, who sent her students home for the summer with a video of class memories for them to enjoy. Dumbass should have thought to watch the DVD before giving it to the students. Had she done that, she'd have caught a huge mistake she made.

The DVD contained 6 seconds of her having sex on her couch!

Initially, the Sacramento area school sent a letter home to parents asking them to return the DVDs, but then switched to asking them just to destroy them. No word on any kind of punishment for the bonehead teacher. What would y'all suggest?

The second teacher was a Yakima, Wash., woman named Sue Graham who decided to send a 5-year-old student home with a surprise in his backpack.

Feces! That's right, the woman put a plastic bag containing poop with a note that read, "This little turd was found on the floor in my room." The child was moved out of her classroom following the incident.

Initially, the district had said that "appropriate action" was taken against the longtime teacher but KIMA-TV had requested public disclosure of the incident. A letter sent to the teacher in May was released by the school. In the letter, the teacher was warned that similar behavior in the future will result in disciplinary action, including termination.

Wait, does that mean she wasn't punished? If all she got was a warning letter, I don't see how that is "appropriate actions" being taken.

Seems to me these two are in the wrong line of work.

Meet Asia Thomas from Dallas, Texas. Apparently, she got thirsty. So thirsty in fact that she took her three children to the Lakewood Landing bar in Old East Dallas. No, she didn't bring her kids into the bar.

She left them in the car!


The kids were left in the car for at least 45 minutes while their mother was knocking back cocktails with friends. Fortunately it was at night and wasn't as hot as it would have been in the daytime.

How stupid can someone be to leave their three children (ages 6mos-4yrs) in their car while they party it up in a bar? I understand she is 23 and probably not a competent mother, but common sense should tell you that this is a bad idea.

This something that you would probably see on the Maury Show. They often have people who admit to having sex for many things ... money, jewelry, clothes.

This woman can beat all that.

She accepted potato chips as payment.

No really ... she did. Well, at least it was a case of chips.

36-year-old Lahoma Sue Smith of Oklahoma City was fined $1,142 after pleading no contest to prostitution after she was accused of accepting the case of chips as payment. She was arrested after police found her in a car with a man who knew he could find a prostitute in that area.

Smith said that the man didn't have money so she agreed to accept the $30 case of chips as payment.

She must not have been very good at her job if she was only getting $30 for the job. I hope she got to eat the chips at least. Those were some expensive chips!

I know of churches or organizations that think they can "rehabilitate" a homosexual person to make them 'heterosexual', but until now I had never heard of anyone thinking they could perform an exorcism on someone to make them straight. Not only did members of the Manifested Glory Ministries (CT) conduct the exorcism, but they also posted a video of it on YouTube. The original was 20 minutes long, but the church has since removed it from the site. Others had copied it and posted it. Here is an excerpt:

Multiple gay and youth advocates are calling the practice abuse and are calling for a full investigation. The church has denied that the teen was injured or that they are prejudiced. According to Rev. Patricia McKinney, the church has "nothing against homosexuals" ... yet they think that homosexuals have demons in them. It amazes me how people through around that phrase even though it is clear that there is evidence of prejudice.

McKinney has tried to say the boy is 18, but the youth confirmed that he is only 16. The boy was eager to have his inner demons driven out of him, though I doubt he knew just what the church leaders would do. What this church did was clearly not in the best interest of the child. At one point they held the boy in a headlock as he was convulsing.

"It's been a hard time for me, but I'm looking good and I'm standing strong because when you have a mandate like mine you're not going to say what you want without the adversary coming after you," McKinney said. "If you are a true prophet you're not going to be popular with the people."

It is people like this who give Christians a bad reputation. This woman is clearly delusional and perhaps a bit narcissistic. It amazes me still that there are people who think you can just "become" straight by prayer or exorcism. All you can do is live a lie and hide in the closer for the rest of your life ... but you'll still be a homosexual.

Is it possible for VH-1 to get any worse? Apparently, they can!

Jessica Simpson is getting another reality show. [pause for the vomiting to stop]

The new show is called The Price of Beauty and will follow the has-been singer as she and a friend "set off on a road trip around the world in search of what people find beautiful and why," according to a source at US Weekly. The show will air sometime in 2010.

"I have always believed that beauty comes from within and confidence will always make a woman beautiful, but I know how much pressure some women put on themselves to look perfect," Simpson told The Hollywood Reporter.

Let's be honest here. I don't think she gives a rat's ass about what people think is beautiful. This is just another attempt for the attention-whore to try to get her celebrity back. No one cared about her music when she was pop, she was a failure as a country singer and now she is just fodder for gossip rags. Maybe it is time that she learned that she needs to get out of the public spotlight and get a real job.

Yeah, I doubt she would either. Fame-whores are addicted to all the attention. When the attention starts to feign, they'll do anything to get it back.

I wonder when we'll see a Jessica Simpson sex tape.

Hey, it worked for Paris Hilton.

I have a couple candidates for our Worst Mother of the Year Award. And let me tell you ... these are a couple of real winners.

First up is the Voodoo Queen of New York City.

A NYC woman and her mother burned the woman's 6-year-old daughter in a Haitian Voodoo ritual called Loa. She doused her child with accelerant and made her stand naked in the middle of a ring of fire. Naturally, the child was engulfed in the flames. The woman and the grandmother both ignored the girl's cries and screams. Instead, the grandmother washed the child and then put her to bed. The next day, a relative found the girl. The child had life-threatening burns over 25% of her body! Thankfully, the girl is now in foster care and the women have been arrested on felony charges.

I don't care what your religion is ... NOTHING gives you the right to do this to a child!

Our second nominee is a Maryland woman who gives new meaning to killing in 'cold blood'.

43-year-old Renee Bowman has been indicted on charges of killing her two adopted daughters, which Bowman kept in her freezer! The case against her began when her 7-year-old daughter jumped out of a window and was found in her neighborhood. She had also been abused by her mother. Allegedly, the woman killed the two girls sometime between 2005 and 2007 when they were living in Montgomery County, MD. Bowman had even been receiving payments from a Washington, D.C. agency! I'm glad that the third girl survived but now I fear for her. The trauma she has endured will most likely scar her for life. Hopefully, Bowman will go to prison for life.

The last candidate is perhaps the sickest of all three. This is also the most bizarre. Yes, even more bizarre than keeping your dead children in the freezer.

This one actually starts in the United Kingdom but ends in a small town in Maine. Apparently, police in West Midlands, England, received information that a local man was using the Internet to view child pornography. What he was viewing was taking place in Mars Hill, Maine, which is a town of only 1500 residents.

What was he watching? He was watching Julie Carr, 30, sexually abusing one of her four children on a webcam! Carr's children range in age from 18 months up to 5-years-old. It's bad enough that she was abusing her child but it's even worse that she was feeding the sexual addiction of pedophiles. I know what her older children are in for during the rest of their lives. I wouldn't wish that upon any child. Carr faces up to 40 years in prison if convicted of all the charges. I say give her life in prison!

There are some truly sick people in this world. My heart goes out for these children. I know it's difficult to read about these stories but it is important that they get told. People need to know these kinds of things are happening and it is happening closer to them than they think.

Is David Archuleta's father trying to kill his son's career? Last year, he was banned from backstage during American Idol for being a nightmarish stage dad. This time, he has tarnished his son's happy ending by trying to get one himself ... in a massage parlor!

This isn't something that just happened but it is just now reaching the media. Back in January, Jeff Archuleta was caught during a raid at the Queens of Reiki massage parlor in Midvale, Utah. Apparently, police determined that the business was operating without a business license and ordered a raid on the location where they found only one client ... Papa Archuleta.

According to Detective Sgt. John Salazar of the Midvale Police Dept., “he was just finishing up in suite number one. I sent two of the officers in and the male was on his stomach on the table with a masseuse in lace underwear.”

Archuleta even admitted to having received sexual favors from the parlor after finding an ad on Craigslist. His lawyer argued that he was only there for legitimate massage therapy for his back. Um ... He admitted to receiving sexual favors! Kind of hard to deny something he already admitted and plead no contest to in court.

I wonder what the Mormon church has to say about this! And they think that gays are the ones trying to destroy the 'sanctity' of marriage. Look at their own church members' actions!